The Purpose of Things

Yesterday something sad happened. Well, at first I thought it was sad. Until I started thinking...
Recently, Ella's balance has been deteriorating. I understand that this is part of her disorder and it may come and go for a long time. Recently though, she's been falling and really hurting herself. I called one of the people who provides her with PT services and asked him NO I DEMANDED of him that she get a helmet. This is to keep her safe, when she plays, when she loses her balance, when she falls.

So it seems strange for me to say i was sad when he showed up with it yesterday. After all, I had demanded it of him.

Bless his heart, instead of a big, clunky medical helmet with thick padding and wide velcro straps in some horrid color like black or brown or grey...

He went shopping around and had found her a little purple bike helmet with panda bears on it. It fits her, its comfortable on her, she plays in it just fine. It doesn't seem to bother her at all.

Ella in her new helmet!

UT OH- Here comes the selfish,
this isnt happening to my child,
this isnt happening to us
this must be someone elses problem...Jenifer (I thought I told her to go away!)

I'm was little embarrassed (at first)

I'm now "that mom"

 the one that has that kid who has something wrong with her

" The one you might see at the store and think "I wonder whats wrong with that kid..."

and it so obvious that there is something wrong because the helmet gives it away...

That's

who we are

now.

OK enough of THAT...go away THAT Jenifer-I don't like you.

So after I shoed HER away...kicked her out the door, pad locked the door and cemented it shut  : )

I started to really think about the purpose of things...

What is the purpose of a towel?...it is to dry things off.

What is the purpose of a glass?...it is to drink liquid out of.

What is the purpose of a helmet?...

that's easy...

whether it be a helmet for a disabled child who falls, or a bike helmet or a baseball helmet or a firefighters helmet or a coal miners helmet or a football players helmet (I could go on and on)

Whatever kind of helmet it is, it is ALWAYS used to protect and keep someone safe.

I requested this and put it on her because I NEED for her to be as safe as she can be at all times.

I then started to look at this a little differently, Ella's purpose for wearing the helmet isn't to keep her safe if she fell off her bike BUT she happens to be using a "bike helmet" to keep her safe.

Lots of kids her age are starting to ride little bikes and wearing these little helmets.

SO I expanded the 'purpose' of Ella's helmet...

We went outside, I put her on her sisters bike (holding her up and on of course)

and we rode around the yard.

She LOVED it, she laughed, she smiled, I got kisses.

I learned today that maybe the best way to keep your child safe is to provide them as much normalcy as you possibly can...

Hold on tight Ella, you can do it.

Precious lives we are entrusted with...

Today, my 2 1/2 year old daughter (who has Rett's Syndrome) put her arms around my neck and squeezed. Then she put her lips on my cheek, and laid her head on my shoulder.

THIS...from a baby that can't walk, can't talk, can't use her hands.

I learned today with certainty that... despite all of the things that she can't do, she CAN love. (and express her love)

YES- the things that she can't do make me terribly sad, (for her) because I know that her life would be much easier if she could do all of those things.

BUT...

I am thinking that honestly, would you rather have a child who couldn't do those vital things that they should be able to do but could express love?

or a child who could do all the things that they are supposed to but couldn't express love?

I know it's kind of late for such deep thoughts but I do have to say...

weeks and weeks of prayers and novenas were answered to me today,

When Ella showed me how much she loved me.

Thank you Ella...

(Thank you God...)

: )

And sweet, sweet, beautiful Ella...Mama loves you soooooooo much too...